hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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