You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
