Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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