I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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