My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
