i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he shaved USA in his pubs
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Is Oprah even human
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
