I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
