Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
