grandma shit on top of the toilet
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
