i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
