Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
