brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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