so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
