glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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