Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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