i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
