just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
