can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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