the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
