i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
