You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
