You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
