U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
