"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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