just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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