I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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