soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
