Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
