maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
