meet me or not, i'm out of control
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
