I've blown a few things in my day
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
