At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Drunk is a universal language darling
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
