Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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