How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
