Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
