somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
