I just saw a hot homeless man
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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