those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
