he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
