Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
