I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
