just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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