sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
