I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
