and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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