this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
