girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
