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My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
