never play flip cup with pint glasses
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize