he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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