my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
