apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
