Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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