i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize