I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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