I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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