You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Randomize
