I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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