Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
