We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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