I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She announced her abortion via fbk
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
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