I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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