Buhtt sex?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
