Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
